Scary Good Tool 1: Sensory Words
What have I gotten myself into?
The first writing tool that we are going to learn about uses the five senses to create writing that keeps a reader reading. Sensory words are essential to one of the three main parts of a story, description or what things look like. Learn to use them properly and your writing will spring to life.
That makes sensory to me.
Good. Now, pay close attention to how this first story makes you feel. It’s a frightening little tale that is guaranteed to chill you to the bone and… Bonefish, where are you going?
To get my blue blankie. If I’m getting chilled to the bone, I want to be warm doing it.
That makes sensory to me.
Good. Now, pay close attention to how this first story makes you feel. It’s a frightening little tale that is guaranteed to chill you to the bone and… Bonefish, where are you going?
To get my blue blankie. If I’m getting chilled to the bone, I want to be warm doing it.
I like that Mr. Butt!
The Last Thing You Feel.
The boy trudged sadly through the forest. He could not see the majestic oak that spread comforting arms over the forest floor. He could not hear the goodbye chirps of the bluebirds lighting out for the winter. A squirrel gathered acorns, but its scampering clatter fell upon deaf ears. Cold snowflakes brushed his arms like tickling fingers, but he could not feel them. He chewed on an apple. It gave him nourishment but no pleasure for he could not taste it. The crisp smell of the pines made no impression on him. He could not smell their clean scent. The boy with no senses walked deeper into the woods.
The light snow churned into a flurry. He could not appreciate the intricate patterns of the swirling snowflakes. He did not feel the icy crystals hitting his pale skin. He tossed the apple core onto the whitening ground. He put one foot in front of the other and trudged deeper into the woods.
He could no longer stand being unable to see or hear or smell or taste or feel the world around him. He had never known the joy of watching the sun rise on a cool dewy morning. He had never tasted hot apple pie with a glass of creamy milk. He had never felt a warm hug or a comforting pat on the back. And so, on this morning he decided to end his miserable life.
He slogged further into the forest. The flurry of snow was now a blizzard. The icy crystals cut across his cheeks. The gathering flakes crunched underfoot. The howling wind warned him to find shelter. He sensed nothing.
And then it happened. Separate snowflakes struck each of his eyes at the same time. He blinked at the sudden spark of pain. He rubbed his eyes and opened them. The darkness fell away. The unexpected light jarred him for a moment until he saw his first pine tree. He stared in wonder at the clumps of white snow resting on the needles. The fresh scent of the tree delighted him. He cocked his head and listened to the wind whistling through the branches. He had never before heard such captivating music or any music for that matter. A giggle squirted from his mouth. He stuck out his tongue and tasted his first snowflake. He laughed and fell to the ground. He flapped his arms and legs and made his first snow angel. Goosebumps fluttered onto his arms. He touched them and felt the delicate hairs standing at attention. Oh what a joy it was to see and smell and hear and taste and feel the world around him.
And then the cold began to creep into his body. His teeth started chattering. He shivered and patted his bare arms. He suddenly realized that he needed to find shelter from the growling blizzard. He looked around him, but could see no further than the nearby trees. The storm howled and lashed him with icy whips. Panic flashed through him. He had to get back home. He looked for his footprints in the snow, but they were buried. He whirled in a tight circle searching for a familiar tree to gain his bearings. He stopped and laughed bitterly at his foolishness. How could he recognize a tree that he had never seen before?
His ears burned from the icy wind. His eyes watered. He had to get out of this storm now. He picked a direction and started to run. The wind shoved him with frosty fists. He tripped on a buried tree root and fell into a snow bank. He scrambled to his feet and took off running again. The melting snow chilled him to his marrow.
It was his fingers that went numb first. He stared at them, willing the feeling to return. It did not. And then the sensation of his feet disappeared. He stumbled and dropped into a snow bank.
He sat up and looked for anything that could shelter him from the storm. He saw nothing for snow blindness had robbed him of his sight.
He sniffed the air hoping to catch the smoky scent of a burning fireplace or campfire. He smelled nothing for frostbite had claimed his nose.
He tried to cry for help, praying a woodsman would hear. He made no sound for his tongue was frozen in his mouth.
He closed his eyes and dropped into his coffin of snow. He felt the touch of death and smiled. At least he felt something one last time.
So, how did you feel about that story, Bonefish?
I have to admit it left me a little cold.
Good. Sensory words excite your five senses and make the reader feel what’s on the page. Sensory words allow a reader feel, hear, taste, see, or smell what the author wrote. Let’s do a lesson to teach you how to use them properly.
I have to admit it left me a little cold.
Good. Sensory words excite your five senses and make the reader feel what’s on the page. Sensory words allow a reader feel, hear, taste, see, or smell what the author wrote. Let’s do a lesson to teach you how to use them properly.
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LESSON REVIEW
So how do you think you did on the first lesson, Bonefish?
It was easy as digging a grave in loose earth.
Read me your first example.
Will do. The frozen horse jumped over the frosty fence.
What? Frozen horse? Frosty fence? What on earth are you talking about, Bonefish?
What’s the matter? “Frozen” and “frosty” are icy words, aren’t they?
Ye Gads, Bonefish. I said “I see” words not “icy” words. “I see” words are words you can see such as:
The gray horse jumped over the white picket fence.
You see a “gray” horse jumping over the “white picket” fence.
Oh. I see.
Now, read your next sentence using “I feel” words.
The camper wore a scratchy shirt and a pair of damp pants.
Top quality examples of “I feel” words. You can feel the scratchy shirt and the damp pants.
Do you want to know how his pants got damp? See the camper drank way too much soda and there was no bathroom so he went into the woods…
Don’t go there, Bonefish.
What? He fell into a puddle running into the woods.
Next. How do we hear Albert going through the swamp?
Albert sang through the swamp.
Exactly how do you sing through a swamp, Bonefish?
Easy. Haven’t you ever heard the song “Twinkle Twinkle Little Bog?”
No.
How about “Mary Had a Little Quagmire?”
Your sentence needs an “I hear” verb that sounds like you’re moving through a swamp.
Oh! You mean like:
Albert splashed through the swamp.
Or:
Albert squished through the swamp.
Squishing is the sound one might make walking through a muddy swamp. Let’s go to the next sentence, an example of an “I smell” word.
I gulped down a bowl of hot soup.
Hmm. Isn’t hot an “I feel” word and not an “I smell” word? I mean, how exactly do you smell hot?
Stick your head in the oven?
That is precisely what I feel like doing when I teach you, Bonefish. Sticking your head in a hot oven would burn you and that is an “I feel” word. Try the example again.
I gulped down a bowl of salty soup.
Salty is an “I taste” word.
I gulped down a bowl of bubbling soup.
Bubbling is an “I see” or “I hear” word. Try again.
I can’t.
Why not?
I’m full. I just gulped down three bowls of soup.
Allow me:
I gulped down a bowl of savory chicken soup.
That answer smells. I can smell the chicken soup.
Exactly. That was a hard one because there aren’t too many descriptive smell words for soup. But if you pick a popular soup like chicken, most people will know what it smells like so it activates the sense of smell. Now what did you write for your next example?
A bird chirped from his perch in the bear tree.
It was easy as digging a grave in loose earth.
Read me your first example.
Will do. The frozen horse jumped over the frosty fence.
What? Frozen horse? Frosty fence? What on earth are you talking about, Bonefish?
What’s the matter? “Frozen” and “frosty” are icy words, aren’t they?
Ye Gads, Bonefish. I said “I see” words not “icy” words. “I see” words are words you can see such as:
The gray horse jumped over the white picket fence.
You see a “gray” horse jumping over the “white picket” fence.
Oh. I see.
Now, read your next sentence using “I feel” words.
The camper wore a scratchy shirt and a pair of damp pants.
Top quality examples of “I feel” words. You can feel the scratchy shirt and the damp pants.
Do you want to know how his pants got damp? See the camper drank way too much soda and there was no bathroom so he went into the woods…
Don’t go there, Bonefish.
What? He fell into a puddle running into the woods.
Next. How do we hear Albert going through the swamp?
Albert sang through the swamp.
Exactly how do you sing through a swamp, Bonefish?
Easy. Haven’t you ever heard the song “Twinkle Twinkle Little Bog?”
No.
How about “Mary Had a Little Quagmire?”
Your sentence needs an “I hear” verb that sounds like you’re moving through a swamp.
Oh! You mean like:
Albert splashed through the swamp.
Or:
Albert squished through the swamp.
Squishing is the sound one might make walking through a muddy swamp. Let’s go to the next sentence, an example of an “I smell” word.
I gulped down a bowl of hot soup.
Hmm. Isn’t hot an “I feel” word and not an “I smell” word? I mean, how exactly do you smell hot?
Stick your head in the oven?
That is precisely what I feel like doing when I teach you, Bonefish. Sticking your head in a hot oven would burn you and that is an “I feel” word. Try the example again.
I gulped down a bowl of salty soup.
Salty is an “I taste” word.
I gulped down a bowl of bubbling soup.
Bubbling is an “I see” or “I hear” word. Try again.
I can’t.
Why not?
I’m full. I just gulped down three bowls of soup.
Allow me:
I gulped down a bowl of savory chicken soup.
That answer smells. I can smell the chicken soup.
Exactly. That was a hard one because there aren’t too many descriptive smell words for soup. But if you pick a popular soup like chicken, most people will know what it smells like so it activates the sense of smell. Now what did you write for your next example?
A bird chirped from his perch in the bear tree.
I think you mean bare tree, B-A-R-E, a tree without leaves. Watch your spelling. It’s easy to get bear B-E-A-R and bare B-A-R-E mixed up.
I know. I once ordered a Teddy bear and got a naked statue of President Theodore Roosevelt.
Stick to the lesson, Bonefish.
Okay. Here’s my next example:The rickety rocket soared across the bright sky.
Hmm. I see a rickety rocket, but would a rickety rocket soar across a bright sky? Rickety means unstable or shaky. Your description should match the action. How might a rickety rocket move across the bright sky?
I know. I once ordered a Teddy bear and got a naked statue of President Theodore Roosevelt.
Stick to the lesson, Bonefish.
Okay. Here’s my next example:The rickety rocket soared across the bright sky.
Hmm. I see a rickety rocket, but would a rickety rocket soar across a bright sky? Rickety means unstable or shaky. Your description should match the action. How might a rickety rocket move across the bright sky?
The rickety rocket wobbled across the bright sky.
That’s beautiful. “I see” the rickety rocket wobbling. Now what sensory word did you pick to describe the dress in the next sentence?
Her shabby dress dazzled her friends.
Shabby dress? How does a shabby dress dazzle? Shabby means ragged and dazzling means spectacular. A ragged dress is not spectacular.
I meant a Shabbé dress. Monsieur Shabbé is a famous dress designer from Paris. Her Shabbé dress dazzled her friends.
Oh, sorry, I’ve been dead; I’m not up to date on current fashion trends.
I can tell by that suit you’re wearing. Looks like something you'd get buried in. Oh. Guess it was.
Can we hear your next example, please? What is your “I hear” word for the mouth-watering steak?
The sizzling steak looked mouth-watering.
Sizzling is a good “I hear” word. Moving on. What is the “I smell” word to describe the strawberries the skunk is sniffing?
My example is:The skunk sniffed the sweet-smelling strawberries.
Good example. You’re also showing alliteration.
Sorry, I’ll button my shirt.
Bonefish, “The skunk sniffed the sweet-smelling strawberries” is an example of alliteration because skunk, sniffed, sweet-smelling, and strawberries all begin with the "S" sound. Alliteration is when two or more words in a phrase begin with the same letter or sound. Alliteration is like rhyming, but with alliteration the rhyming comes at the front of the words instead of the end. Can you think of another example of alliteration, Bonefish?
Maybe, but at the moment, my murky mind is mired in mush.
Very good.
What’s very good?
Your example of alliteration. Maybe, moment, murky, mind, mired, and mush all begin with the “m” sound. You can use alliteration to make your prose more poetic.
How about that? I’m a poet and I didn’t know it, but my buns show it, they’re Browning.
How about your final example? How did the hornet sound when it stung Horace and what did Horace do after it happened?
The buzzing hornet stung Horace and made him hoarse.
The buzzing hornet's sting made Horace hoarse? How could a sting make Horace hoarse?
That’s beautiful. “I see” the rickety rocket wobbling. Now what sensory word did you pick to describe the dress in the next sentence?
Her shabby dress dazzled her friends.
Shabby dress? How does a shabby dress dazzle? Shabby means ragged and dazzling means spectacular. A ragged dress is not spectacular.
I meant a Shabbé dress. Monsieur Shabbé is a famous dress designer from Paris. Her Shabbé dress dazzled her friends.
Oh, sorry, I’ve been dead; I’m not up to date on current fashion trends.
I can tell by that suit you’re wearing. Looks like something you'd get buried in. Oh. Guess it was.
Can we hear your next example, please? What is your “I hear” word for the mouth-watering steak?
The sizzling steak looked mouth-watering.
Sizzling is a good “I hear” word. Moving on. What is the “I smell” word to describe the strawberries the skunk is sniffing?
My example is:The skunk sniffed the sweet-smelling strawberries.
Good example. You’re also showing alliteration.
Sorry, I’ll button my shirt.
Bonefish, “The skunk sniffed the sweet-smelling strawberries” is an example of alliteration because skunk, sniffed, sweet-smelling, and strawberries all begin with the "S" sound. Alliteration is when two or more words in a phrase begin with the same letter or sound. Alliteration is like rhyming, but with alliteration the rhyming comes at the front of the words instead of the end. Can you think of another example of alliteration, Bonefish?
Maybe, but at the moment, my murky mind is mired in mush.
Very good.
What’s very good?
Your example of alliteration. Maybe, moment, murky, mind, mired, and mush all begin with the “m” sound. You can use alliteration to make your prose more poetic.
How about that? I’m a poet and I didn’t know it, but my buns show it, they’re Browning.
How about your final example? How did the hornet sound when it stung Horace and what did Horace do after it happened?
The buzzing hornet stung Horace and made him hoarse.
The buzzing hornet's sting made Horace hoarse? How could a sting make Horace hoarse?
Because of all the screaming he did after he got stung.
Then just say the buzzing hornet stung Horace and made him scream. Don't force your reader guess what happened. Let him experience it by using sensory words.
Picking the right words sure is important, isn't it, Mr. Butt?
It's as important as picking the right bait to catch a big fish. Pick the right words and you hook the reader. And that's the goal of Scary Good Writing: To keep a reader reading.
Then just say the buzzing hornet stung Horace and made him scream. Don't force your reader guess what happened. Let him experience it by using sensory words.
Picking the right words sure is important, isn't it, Mr. Butt?
It's as important as picking the right bait to catch a big fish. Pick the right words and you hook the reader. And that's the goal of Scary Good Writing: To keep a reader reading.
What are you waiting for, you blister? Go the next lesson
