Scary Good Tool 9:
The Wondrous Whatif
Another great way to come up with wonderful story ideas is to use the Wondrous Whatif.
Of course, Mr. Butt, the Wondrous Whatif. The Wondrous Whatif is a great way of coming up with wonderful story ideas. You can't possibly beat the Wondrous Whatif for coming up with wonderful stories ideas. I just have one question?
Don’t tell me, Bonefish. What's the Wondrous Whatif?
No, I’m sure you’re going to tell me that in the next story. What I want to know is what makes your head ache when you eat ice cream too fast.
I know what makes my head ache and it’s not eating ice cream too fast. It starts with a B.
Of course, Mr. Butt, the Wondrous Whatif. The Wondrous Whatif is a great way of coming up with wonderful story ideas. You can't possibly beat the Wondrous Whatif for coming up with wonderful stories ideas. I just have one question?
Don’t tell me, Bonefish. What's the Wondrous Whatif?
No, I’m sure you’re going to tell me that in the next story. What I want to know is what makes your head ache when you eat ice cream too fast.
I know what makes my head ache and it’s not eating ice cream too fast. It starts with a B.
Is it a bowling ball? It always gives me a headache when I drop a bowling ball on my head.
No. Bonefish.
Yes.
That’s the answer.
Bowling ball is the answer?
No. Bonefish, you are.
I’m what?
The answer.
What’s the question?
Never mind,I’m getting a headache. You curl up and listen to the next story while I get an aspirin.
No. Bonefish.
Yes.
That’s the answer.
Bowling ball is the answer?
No. Bonefish, you are.
I’m what?
The answer.
What’s the question?
Never mind,I’m getting a headache. You curl up and listen to the next story while I get an aspirin.
Bookieman Will Get You.
Mary hated to read. She avoided books like a vampire avoids garlic. Her grandmother was always trying to get her to read, but Mary refused. She preferred visiting friends at Myspace or listening to music on her Ipod. One day her grandmother was babysitting. She gave Mary a surprise present. Mary opened it. It was a book.
“You can read it tonight," Grandmother said.
“What's it about?”
“It's about using your imagination.”
Mary frowned. “Like I’d rather return it and get the money. I hate reading.”
Her grandmother pursed her wrinkled lips. She wagged a bony finger at her. “Mary, don't you know what happens to little girls who don't read?"
“No, what?”
Her milky eyes narrowed. She looked around and whispered, “The Bookieman will get you.”
“Bookieman? Like who's the Bookieman?"
Her grandmother licked her dried lips. She pulled Mary closer to her. “The Bookieman will get you if don't read books."
The next day at school, Mrs. Grimley, the English teacher, gave Mary’s class an assignment to come up with an idea for a story.
All day and into the night, Mary tried and tried to think of an idea for her story, but nothing came to mind. With growing horror, she realized that she had lost her imagination. How had she lost it? From spending hours gossiping at Myspace? From watching too many music videos of boy bands? It didn't matter. What mattered was that her imagination was gone.
“What's wrong, Mary? her mother asked. "You look like you lost your best friend,"
“Nothing," she said. "Like I'm going to bed."
Mary trudged into her room. She glanced at the book her grandmother had given her. She pulled it off the shelf. She climbed into bed and turned out the light on the nightstand beside it. She clipped her seldom-used booklight onto the book cover and started to read.
She had just finished reading about The Wondrous Whatif when she heard something stirring under the bed. It was a sneaky sound. Definitely sneaky.
A shiver trickled down her spine. She heard a low chuckle. Her heart pounded.
A shadowy thing rose up beside her bed. She pointed the booklight at it. The thing resembled an origami figure of a man. His skin was yellowed paper. His black eyes looked as if someone had drawn them on his face. His fingers looked like sharpened pencils.
“Like who are you?” she whispered.
“I am the Bookieman,” the thing said.
Mary's mouth dried up. “The Bookieman…” she croaked. “W-what do you want?"
His black eyes gleamed. “You.”
She swallowed a lump of fear. “M-me. But like why, me?”
“Because you have no imagination. I take children with no imagination and put them to work for me as bookkeepers at my accounting firm. Cheap labor. Didn't your grandmother warn you about me?"
“Yes, but I thought she was like trying to get me to read.”
“But you didn’t and here I am.”
“But I have an imagination," Mary said.
“Prove it.”
“But like how?”
“Easy. Come up with three story ideas for your school assignment. And here’s what I want you to write a story about: Everyone has had a bad day at school. Tell a story about a bad day you had at school.”
“That’s easy," Mary said. "One day, I like forgot my homework and got a zero.”
“That’s not easy and it certainly doesn’t use your imagination. Pack your bags and we’ll get going.”
"Wait, wait. Let me try again.” Mary glanced at the book in her hand. She remembered what the book had said about using The Wondrous Whatif to create ideas. The Wondrous Whatif was simple to use. You simply ask what if? Mary tapped her forehead as was her habit when thinking. What if...? What if...?
She smiled and said, “What if my teacher was a foreign spy in disguise? What if pirates took over the school? What if my whole class turned into rutabagas?"
“Holy moly! That exact same thing happened to me in first grade.”
“But you’re not a rutabaga.”
“I got better.”
“So are those good ideas, Mr. Bee?”
“Yes, those are fun ideas. All you have to do is put them into story form using CPR and you have the beginnings of a story.
"What about you, Bookieman? Do you like have a story idea using The Wondrous Whatif?"
"I sure do. What if my teacher fell into the toilet and changed into an alligator that became President of the United States?"
"That sounds like one of Donald Dooper’s stories. Donald is always trying to make the class laugh with his dumb stories. One time he told a story about going back in time but on the trip he changed into a gopher. Nobody could figure out what changing into a gopher had to do with going back in time? The teacher made him change it. She said like people just do not change into gophers for no reason, or just because you want it to happen in your story. In good stories, all things like happen for a reason."
"I knew that,” the Bookieman said chuckling nervously. "I was just testing you."
"So are you going to get me or not?" Mary asked.
The Bookieman looked disappointed. 'I guess not. Looks like you got your imagination back by using the Wondrous Whatif." He crawled back under the bed and disappeared.
Mary turned on the light and wrote the story you just read.
Well, what did you think of the Wondrous Whatif, Bonefish?
The Wondrous Whatif is a great way to come up with story ideas. I’d like to try my hand at it.
What if I told you I had a lesson to teach you how to use the Wondrous Whatif?
What if I told you I already had my pencil ready?
I’d say you knew me pretty well, Bonefish. Let’s hop to it.
The Wondrous Whatif is a great way to come up with story ideas. I’d like to try my hand at it.
What if I told you I had a lesson to teach you how to use the Wondrous Whatif?
What if I told you I already had my pencil ready?
I’d say you knew me pretty well, Bonefish. Let’s hop to it.
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Lesson Review
I’m finished, Mr. Butt. I have three good ideas for the narrative prompt:
What if I lost my car keys?
What if I lost my way in a haunted castle?
What if I lost a fortune?
That first idea is not so exciting. Losing your car keys is a common occurrence, and not very exciting. But the next two Whatifs have potential for fun stories.
I like the one about losing my fortune, but I don’t know what to write?
Start with a brain drain to find you what kind of fortune you lost and how.
A brain drain?
Yes, drain your brain on the subject of losing a fortune. A brain drain is a great way to find the plot of your Wondrous Whatif. Some people call it pre-writing. Some call it an outline. Whatever you call it, it's important.
Okay. I can think of buried treasure that pirates want to steal from me. I can think of losing a fortune in the stock market. I can think of getting giant pearls from giant oysters and losing them when a huge fish eats the bag I'm carrying them in. Hey, I like that last one.
What if I lost my car keys?
What if I lost my way in a haunted castle?
What if I lost a fortune?
That first idea is not so exciting. Losing your car keys is a common occurrence, and not very exciting. But the next two Whatifs have potential for fun stories.
I like the one about losing my fortune, but I don’t know what to write?
Start with a brain drain to find you what kind of fortune you lost and how.
A brain drain?
Yes, drain your brain on the subject of losing a fortune. A brain drain is a great way to find the plot of your Wondrous Whatif. Some people call it pre-writing. Some call it an outline. Whatever you call it, it's important.
Okay. I can think of buried treasure that pirates want to steal from me. I can think of losing a fortune in the stock market. I can think of getting giant pearls from giant oysters and losing them when a huge fish eats the bag I'm carrying them in. Hey, I like that last one.
As do I. So you lose your fortune of giant pearls when a gigantic fish eats them, now ask yourself the magic question that fuels your brain drain.
What magic question?
What happens next and why is it a problem? "What happens next and why is it a problem" is the question about which the reader always wants to know the answer. And don’t stop at one answer unless it’s a really good one.
What magic question?
What happens next and why is it a problem? "What happens next and why is it a problem" is the question about which the reader always wants to know the answer. And don’t stop at one answer unless it’s a really good one.
But why?
Because your first answer is usually off-the-top-of-your-head and might be a cliché, like a story that ends with “It was all a dream.”
I hate endings like that.
Me, too. So try to come up with as many ideas as you need to hit upon just the right one. Now what happens next in your story and why is it a problem?
Next, I have to get the pearls from inside the fish, but how do I do it? Let’s see. I catch the fish and cut him open.
Too easy and not very exciting.
True. So, how about I go inside the fish? Yes, I go inside the fish. It's more exciting.
It is. What happens next? How do you solve the problem of getting inside the fish?
I get inside the fish by dressing up as a minnow.
I like it. So what happens next? What do you do once you’re inside this giant fish and what’s the problem?
I spot the pearls, but a hungry shark appears. That should be a good problem.
Indeed. That shark is a problem to overcome, Bonefish, and problems make your hero struggle. The shark wants to eat him and he wants to keep from being eaten. The conflict makes the story exciting. So what happens next? How do you solve the problem of the shark and what’s the next problem?
I make friends with the shark. No, that’s boring. I know. I trick him.
What happens next? How do you trick him?
Feed him a candy bar. No, that’s dumb. Sharks don’t eat candy bars. Maybe I bribe him with the pearls. Nah, what does a shark need with pearls? Maybe I tell the shark I can get us out of the giant fish if he doesn’t eat me.
Good. What happens next? How do you solve the problem of escaping from the giant fish?
I’ve got it. By making the fish sneeze.
Making a giant fish sneeze to escape from inside it has been done a hundred times. It’s a cliché.
Then I’ll give the fish gas so that he burps us out.
I like that. What happens next? How do you give the fish gas?
Give him fizzy soda? No, where am I going to get that? I know. I release the air in my air tank.
Yes, I like that because it relates to the situation of being underwater.
The giant fish fills with gas and burps. We escape. End of story.
Excellent. One thing to note: Introduce the air tanks early on. That way, when the main character uses them at the end, the reader says aha instead of huh? Remember to plant the seed of your ending earlier in the story so that the reader doesn't feel cheated.
That makes sense.
Bonefish, did you notice how your story stays nicely on topic when you ask what happens next? That’s SNOT.
Because your first answer is usually off-the-top-of-your-head and might be a cliché, like a story that ends with “It was all a dream.”
I hate endings like that.
Me, too. So try to come up with as many ideas as you need to hit upon just the right one. Now what happens next in your story and why is it a problem?
Next, I have to get the pearls from inside the fish, but how do I do it? Let’s see. I catch the fish and cut him open.
Too easy and not very exciting.
True. So, how about I go inside the fish? Yes, I go inside the fish. It's more exciting.
It is. What happens next? How do you solve the problem of getting inside the fish?
I get inside the fish by dressing up as a minnow.
I like it. So what happens next? What do you do once you’re inside this giant fish and what’s the problem?
I spot the pearls, but a hungry shark appears. That should be a good problem.
Indeed. That shark is a problem to overcome, Bonefish, and problems make your hero struggle. The shark wants to eat him and he wants to keep from being eaten. The conflict makes the story exciting. So what happens next? How do you solve the problem of the shark and what’s the next problem?
I make friends with the shark. No, that’s boring. I know. I trick him.
What happens next? How do you trick him?
Feed him a candy bar. No, that’s dumb. Sharks don’t eat candy bars. Maybe I bribe him with the pearls. Nah, what does a shark need with pearls? Maybe I tell the shark I can get us out of the giant fish if he doesn’t eat me.
Good. What happens next? How do you solve the problem of escaping from the giant fish?
I’ve got it. By making the fish sneeze.
Making a giant fish sneeze to escape from inside it has been done a hundred times. It’s a cliché.
Then I’ll give the fish gas so that he burps us out.
I like that. What happens next? How do you give the fish gas?
Give him fizzy soda? No, where am I going to get that? I know. I release the air in my air tank.
Yes, I like that because it relates to the situation of being underwater.
The giant fish fills with gas and burps. We escape. End of story.
Excellent. One thing to note: Introduce the air tanks early on. That way, when the main character uses them at the end, the reader says aha instead of huh? Remember to plant the seed of your ending earlier in the story so that the reader doesn't feel cheated.
That makes sense.
Bonefish, did you notice how your story stays nicely on topic when you ask what happens next? That’s SNOT.
Uh, I think you're mistaken. Snot is that runny green stuff that comes out of your nose when you’re sick.
I don’t mean snot, you ninny. I mean S-N-O-T. SNOT stands for Sticking Nicely On Topic. S-N-O-T. Sticking nicely on topic. You get it?
I get it. You could say SNOT keeps a reader glued to the page.
That’s an image that will stick with me a long time, Bonefish. The thing to remember about SNOT is to eliminate anything and everything that doesn't relate to your topic. And I mean anything and everything. Here’s a lesson to practice removing things that don’t move the story.
I don’t mean snot, you ninny. I mean S-N-O-T. SNOT stands for Sticking Nicely On Topic. S-N-O-T. Sticking nicely on topic. You get it?
I get it. You could say SNOT keeps a reader glued to the page.
That’s an image that will stick with me a long time, Bonefish. The thing to remember about SNOT is to eliminate anything and everything that doesn't relate to your topic. And I mean anything and everything. Here’s a lesson to practice removing things that don’t move the story.
download SNOT lesson.
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Lesson Review
Did you fix it, Bonefish?
I think so.
Let’s hear what you did.
First of all, I took out the part about the icehouse being built 100 years ago by Tom Fredrickson, a wealthy millionaire, who lived in the nearby town of Tuscatoon. I don't think the reader needs to know that. Or the stuff about the icehouse providing ice for the residents of the city of Jonesville and how ice boxes were used as refrigerators. That doesn't have anything to do with a zombie chasing a man.
You’re right so far.
Then I took out that bit about the cabinet maker and how he retired to the Bahamas. I mean who cares about that?
What else did you take out?
The explanation of embalming. Most people know what embalming is. If they don't they can figure it out from the funeral home reference.
Anything else?
Nope.
You mean you kept the part about him stopping at the 7-Eleven for a Slurpee?
I think so.
Let’s hear what you did.
First of all, I took out the part about the icehouse being built 100 years ago by Tom Fredrickson, a wealthy millionaire, who lived in the nearby town of Tuscatoon. I don't think the reader needs to know that. Or the stuff about the icehouse providing ice for the residents of the city of Jonesville and how ice boxes were used as refrigerators. That doesn't have anything to do with a zombie chasing a man.
You’re right so far.
Then I took out that bit about the cabinet maker and how he retired to the Bahamas. I mean who cares about that?
What else did you take out?
The explanation of embalming. Most people know what embalming is. If they don't they can figure it out from the funeral home reference.
Anything else?
Nope.
You mean you kept the part about him stopping at the 7-Eleven for a Slurpee?
Sure, you get hot running away from a zombie.
Bonefish, let's say a zombie was chasing you to eat your brain. Would you stop to get a drink?
I see your point. The zombie might stop to get a drink to wash down my brain, but I surely wouldn't stop. I'd take that part out as well.
So, let’s see what you have after making those changes.
The zombie chased the undertaker Mr. Graves into an old deserted icehouse. His footsteps echoed off the bare walls of the cavernous building. Graves gasped for breath, looking for a place to hide. He heard the zombie’s stomach growl. He saw an old cabinet. Graves darted into the cabinet and closed the door. The zombie staggered into the room. It groaned with hunger. The zombie used to be a man named Frederico Bollini. Graves had been in the process of embalming the pizza maker when Bollini came back to life. Frightened, Graves dashed out of the funeral home and ran down the street. The zombie followed.
What do you think, Mr. Butt?
That’s a whole lot better. The story moves with lots of action and stays nicely on topic. Now that's Scary Good Writing.
Bonefish, let's say a zombie was chasing you to eat your brain. Would you stop to get a drink?
I see your point. The zombie might stop to get a drink to wash down my brain, but I surely wouldn't stop. I'd take that part out as well.
So, let’s see what you have after making those changes.
The zombie chased the undertaker Mr. Graves into an old deserted icehouse. His footsteps echoed off the bare walls of the cavernous building. Graves gasped for breath, looking for a place to hide. He heard the zombie’s stomach growl. He saw an old cabinet. Graves darted into the cabinet and closed the door. The zombie staggered into the room. It groaned with hunger. The zombie used to be a man named Frederico Bollini. Graves had been in the process of embalming the pizza maker when Bollini came back to life. Frightened, Graves dashed out of the funeral home and ran down the street. The zombie followed.
What do you think, Mr. Butt?
That’s a whole lot better. The story moves with lots of action and stays nicely on topic. Now that's Scary Good Writing.
What was I thinking?
